Thursday, March 19, 2015

Judge Not...

I am a fairly non-judgmental person. 

I don't pretend to know anyone else's heart or motives, 
so I try to be gentle when people mess up. 
I mean, we've all been there, right?

I have not always been so kind...
or forgiving.
I usually held my most harsh feelings toward
people who had committed what I felt was the worst crime...

In my life I have seen and felt the pain caused by this.
It is devastating,
It leads to lying and betrayal.
And hurts everyone in its path.
Nobody comes out unscathed.

There was a time in my life
many years ago
when I actually refused to support
anyone who I knew had cheated.
I wouldn't watch Jim Carrey movies,
or listen to Bruce Springsteen,
or watch a Brad Pitt / Angelina Jolie production.

And then something happened...

I had a dear friend who messed up.
And he was too ashamed to tell me because he thought I'd hate him.
I was stunned, because I didn't hate anyone.
I certainly could never hate my friend anyway.

But I'd judged others harshly for the same mistake.
And I had been anything but kind and loving with their situations.
So he had no reason to believe that I wouldn't 
judge him with as little kindness as I had them.

That really shook me.
And forced me to evaluate my heart.

As time passed, all of my little grudges slowly went away.
In fact, it is an inside joke between Mr. C and I.
I have a very dry sense of humor, and we always tease about it.
So if you've heard me say I won't listen to Bruce,
or watch the Jolie-Pitt duo,
or laugh at Jim Carrey,
please know it was 

I am all about forgiveness, second chances, and redemption.
There is not a soul among us who hasn't messed up at some point.

We all need 

Well, all of us except...
Tom Brady.
for another woman
(It doesn't matter that that woman was Gisele Bundchen),
so he is obviously scum, right?

When the Superbowl was decided this year,
and the Patriots made it,
I realized I still held very harsh feelings toward
Mr. Brady.
I don't know him, or his heart, or his situation,
But I still felt justified in disliking him.

One of my friends is a huge fan of the Patriots,
and I teased him that I just cannot support his QB.
I even mentioned that I loathed this particular player.
Yes, I realize I am proving how awful of a person I can be.
And this friend replied that I was too nice to loathe anyone,
even if he HAD left his pregnant girlfriend.

I replied that I guess I'm not that nice... 

And then I realized that, although I had thought I'd changed,
and loved everyone, and forgave when needed,
I was still that same judgmental person I thought I'd left behind.
Because if I judge even one person (even THAT person),
I'm still unkind.

So I began to think.
A lot.
And I realized that Mr. Brady was most likely not the
villain I'd always considered him.
And I felt that what I needed to do was
see him as a person.

Just a man...
who isn't perfect.
I'm certainly not perfect, 
so why should I have expected that from
anyone else?

I decided the best way to see him in a kinder light
was to become acquainted with him
so to speak.

So I clicked the "LIKE" button on his FB page.
I began to see him as a husband and father.
He obviously adores his family.
He actually writes really cheesy and cute
things about his wife.
He is pretty funny and not afraid to make fun of himself.

So, I want my friend Mel to know that he is right.
I'm not mean enough to loathe anyone any more.

We're all just struggling to get through life.
I don't want to be one of the people knocking anyone else down.

But don't expect me to be a Patriots fan.

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